Merits, demerits, risks, returns; if they were these things then I understood. I could understand.
Desire and self-protection, hatred from jealousy. I could analyze the mentality of the actions that were grounded on these abundant, repulsive emotions. That's because I had plenty of those ugly feelings inside of me. That's why it was simple to imagine. if they were similar things, then there was still room to understand it. I could explain using logic.
However, if there wasn't, then it was difficult.
Without the concept of profit and loss, it was hard to imagine the feelings of people who went beyond people who went beyond logic and theory. I had too little to go on and above all else. I had committed too many mistakes up until now.
Good will, friendship, or even love; they were all things I had been mistaken with. I was sure that I was mistaken with them even now as I thought about them.
Don't understand? Then think more. If you can only think by calculating, then keep doing so until you can't. Think of all the answers you can and destroy them one by one with the process of elimination. Whatever remains is your answer.